Cocaine Found on 90% of U.S. Bills

Posted By: The Ski Channel on August 17, 2009 2:26 pm

Usually here at The Ski Channel, when we talk about throwing a ski party, it is what it sounds like. We all carpool up to Mammoth Mountain, get as much skiing and snowboarding in as humanly possible, and then have some drinks and s’mores while telling funny stories about our CEO Steve. But do you remember the “ski” parties that some of the frat houses would throw in college? You know, the ones that involved the “snow” going up your nose? Yes, that’s right people…I’m talking about the cocaine parties. Oh, don’t give me that look. If you haven’t tried it, chances are you know someone who has. Here’s why I’m confident in saying that. A recent study has emerged revealing traces of cocaine to be present on 90% of U.S. bills. 90 percent! OK, so that means when I take ten 50 dollar bills out of my wallet (hey, I can dream can’t I?), 9 of them will have some booger sugar on them. Whoa. I gotta stop randomly sniffing money. No wonder I’m so witty and hyper all the time. I thought it was all the Diet Dr. Pepper. Mmm delicious. Anyway, I digress. This study poses a problem for people who have to handle large quantities of money all the time. No, not pimps, I’m talking about bank tellers. Adam Negrusz, an associate professor of forensic sciences at the University of Illinois at Chicago asks us to “imagine a bank teller who’s working with cash-counting machine in the basement of the bank. Many of those bills, over 90 percent, are contaminated with cocaine. There is cocaine dust around the machines. These bank tellers breathe in cocaine. Cocaine gets into their system, and you can test positive for cocaine. … That’s what’s behind this whole thing that triggered testing money for drugs”. How much would that suck?! You’re an honest, hard working bank teller who’s never done a drug in your life, and then you get fired for testing positive for cocaine. Ouch. We in no way condone the use of cocaine guys. It ruins lives. If you want to have a real ski party, come hit up the mountains with us. It’ll be a much better time, I guarantee it.