Friday’s Ski Mask Criminal: Backyard Ski Mask Naked Dancer

Posted By: Zeke Piestrup on October 9, 2009 11:34 am

Of all the equipment designed specifically for skiing, only the ski mask has proliferated among criminals.  Bad guys don’t use ski poles to mug, or ski gloves to conceal fingerprints.  They don’t whack somebody over the back of the head with a twin tip ski or kick somebody in the shins with ski boots.  Only the ski mask has found adaptation off the mountain and in the crime committing world.

Friday’s ski mask criminal, and our inaugural ski mask bad guy, is a mysterious naked backyard dancer of Dallas, Texas.  Since 2005, this ski mask psycho has been hopping backyard fences, putting on a very unwelcomed and unsexy backyard dance show.   He’s been described as a 30-year-old white male with pasty skin and a pudgy belly.  

Occasionally, if the backyard has a pool, he’ll go for a swim.  Dallas police are looking for the naked ski mask dancer in the Lake Highlands area.  “We would like to catch him before it escalates into something worse than indecent exposure,” said police spokeswoman Janice Crowther.

Without the benefit of an actual study on ski masks, thus this is strictly unscientific conjecture, I’d bet my Volkl Gotamas that if someone owns a ski mask in Texas, they’re not using it for good.


Zeke Piestrup ( More Posts)

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