Cubicle relief: your funniest ski stories

Posted By: The Ski Channel on November 24, 2009 12:57 pm

On today’s episode of Cubicle Relief, we review some of your funniest all time ski stories. This list of stories is…meh…OK. What we really want are your blow-us-out-of-the-water stories. Stuff so funny and appalling it makes me cringe…and it takes a lot to make me cringe. Think of your most embarassing moment on the mountain (or at the apres party), put the story in the comment box. We’ll judge the most extreme story (based on hilarity, awkwardness etc) and the winner gets a free The Ski Channel t-shirt!

Here’s a list of stories from Yahoo! answers. They’re not bad, but I think you guys can do better. Prove me right!

First entry:

“We had just hiked the cirque at Winter Park, and taken the C-Chute down into the trees, where we came into a powder field that had a deadfall covered in snow smack dab in the middle of it. The snow covering up the tree had created a perfect transition to kick you high up in the air and throw a backflip, and the snow was at least waist deep, So i though id go for the backflip. I sat there and looked at the lip for a while, got the confidence up, and went for it. I had plenty of speed, and got plenty of air to pull it off. It felt pretty good on the takeoff, but I forgot to tuck in the knees during the rotation. Needless to say, I stalled out halfway around in mid-air… Thats the last thing I saw. After that, everything went black. I wasnt knocked out though. From what I was told, I came down like a lawn-dart head first into the snow, and buried myself up to my waiste. Theyt said that my feet were sticking straight up in the air, with my board flopping back and fourth like a flag pole. I couldnt move my arms, so i sat there for about 5 minutes while they dug me out. I had snow packed into every orface of my body that was exposed to the elements.

The second one may be funny only to me, due to the ability level of the guy that it happned to. He is a DAMN good skiier. We were causally cruising down to the Derailer after another long day of skiing WP. We were having a nice conversation on the way down, not paying too much attention as we were on a simple green run with little trouble anywhere close to us. Sean was just ahead and to the left of me, when he turned his head back to reply to some smartass comment I had made. Now I saw the bright orange slow skiing sign coming from a mile away, but apparently he did not. As soon as he turned back around to see where he was going, he crashed head on into the thing. You talk about the best yard sale I have ever seen, skis went everywhere, poles went everywhere, and all that was left was Sean, completely wrapped up in that bright orange slow skiing sign. He was so twisted up in the thing that it took a few minutes just to get him out of it. To this day, he has still never lived that moment down.”

Second entry:

Then there was the occasion in Val d’Isere on my second week, when I was leading the group. It was a misty day, and my tinted goggles made me think the black run to the right was a blue run. I steered the group down this particularly mogulled black run. Luckily it was a short stretch, which was not too difficult.

Going off piste the first few times invariably ends up with taking a nose dive into piles of deep snow. That can be very funny.

However, the funniest memories I have regarding skiing are probably in the apres ski arena when the adrenalin is still running and the alcohol is flowing. People do the strangest things, which they would not normally do, when alcohol and adrenalin are mixed in a lethal cocktail. I have a very long list of funny stories, when I was on my own in ski resorts, and met some very strange characters.

Perhaps one of the funniest, is where you have found that you have been infected with some stomach bug which speeds up digestion, and you cannot find anywhere to go.

Or you find yourself behaving in an odd manner with locals. Speaking fluent french in a nightclub, or getting double vision when a couple of french twins meet you on the street and take you for a drink. Being so bored that you put on a fools hat, and wander around bars joining tables of apres skiers making foolish comments.

Alcohol on piste is something you might try, I do not recommend more than 3 units. I ended up skiing so slowly, that I caused some massive traffic jams once. Another time it was dark after the on slope apres ski ended, and I still had about 100m to ski in the dark with a quarter bottle of schnapps inside me.

Another one involved me walking back in the snow, and cold, after a late night at a nightclub and a lone teenage girl asking me to go into a late night Brazilian bar with her. In my dazed state of compliance, I walked into this bar with her passed the bouncers then left shortly afterwards. I have no idea where she went, but the bar was not my scene.

It seems funny in hindsight, but it might have ended in tears.”

Third entry:

“i was 5 and it was my birthday and all i wanted to do was build a snowman.

so i sat there for 3hours making the PERFECT snowman i even got a real carrot for the nose. it was perfect all my hard work was done i was about to walk back into the lodge where we were staying in, it was a ski in ski out lodge, when just at that second a skiier came past ran into my snowman and ruiend the whole thing he got up and quickly skiied away taking the snowmans nose with him.

:(

he didnt even say sorry.

i cryed for hours after that.”

Fourth entry:

“Check their boots. Last season one of my students showed up at class for the second lesson. He was the old type Texas cowboy. Rough and tough and was able to negotiate the green runs the day before. He had been practicing for about an hour before class. When he showed up his comment was his feet hurt like H***. He didn’t think he could ski anymore ever if this kept up. A moments inspection solved the problem. The buckles were on the inside rather than the outside of the foot. A quick return to the rental shop for a smaller pair and placing the left foot in the left boot solved the problem.
Many more stories but it will take a book to tell them all.”

 

 

 

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