…but can you take her to the mountains for a ski trip? Clearly, that’s the most important test in our books, but let’s take a step back and analyze what we’re talking about here:
An inventor named Douglas Hines is about to release to the world his new creation. She’s 5’7″, 120 pounds. She talks, but not too much. She has sex willingly whenever you want, for as long as you want…until her battery runs out.
That’s right, we’re talking about the latest in sex toy technology. Roxxxy was introduced at the annual Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas last month, and for $7,000, she could be yours. Hines said, “She doesn’t vacuum or cook, but she does almost everything else”.
CNN reported: “Powered by a computer under her soft silicone “skin,” she employs voice-recognition and speech-synthesis software to answer questions and carry on conversations. She even comes loaded with five distinct “personalities,” from Frigid Farrah to Wild Wendy, that can be programmed to suit customers’ preferences.”
Where’s ski bunny Sarah?
There have already been thousands of pre-orders for dolls like Roxxxy. “Roxxxy generated a lot of buzz at AEE,” said Grace Lee, spokeswoman for the porn-industry convention. “The prevailing sentiment of everyone I talked to about Roxxxy is ‘version 1.0,’ but people were fascinated by the concept, and it caused them to rethink the possibilities of ‘sex toys.’ “
“Everything you say to her is processed. It’s very near real time, almost without delay,” Hines said of the dynamics of human-Roxxxy conversation. “To make it as realistic as possible, she has different dialogue at different times. She talks in her sleep. She even snores.” The snoring feature can be turned off.
We’d be completely sold on Roxxxy except for one thing. She can’t move on her own. How will she accompany us down the mountain? We don’t care if a woman doesn’t speak until spoken to and has sex at the drop of a hat…if she’s not skiing with us, she doesn’t get a rose. (Yes, that’s a “Bachelor” reference and no, we’re not proud of it.)