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• Tuesday, Nov 24, 2009 @ 09:22:17 AM
• Written by Zeke Piestrup
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                                        Gordon Calder this past Sunday testing out the preseason goods at Powder Mountain Catskiing & Heliskiing, Whistler

Just 18 days until Powder Mountain Catskiing & Heliskiing opens its gates into Ski Heaven.  St. Peter pocketed the keys to the kingdom of heaven, but the thrice-denier does not hold the keys to Powder Mountain.  Plus, there ain't no powder where the streets are paved with gold (side note: what good will gold do you when you're dead?), so I'll skip kneeling before Peter, and beg Gordon Calder, GM of Powder Mountain, for entry onto slopes paved with pow.

A commitment to Powder Mountain is a faithless act, based solely on empirical evidence.  B.C. receives on average over 30 feet of snow a season, and the mountains west of Highway 99, home to Powder Mountain, receive 20-30% more snow than that of the resorts east of Highway 99.  This is, however, not a demarcation line between the haves and have nots, it's just a gradient between a whole lot of snow and a whole lotta' snow.

The "just in case" principle applies both to the celestial heavens and Powder Mountain Catskiing & Heliskiing.  Many folks join religious movements just in case.  A couple Sundays out of the year, just in case.  Powder Mountain is the only heliskiing operation in Whistler that has cat back up.  You know, just in case dumping snow grounds the heli.  And of course, dumping snow and catskiing is a first prize alternative, and Powder Mountain has it for you just in case.

Tithing, literally translated from the Greek word "tithe", means tenth.  One-tenth of your yearly income goes to the church.  We'll take the easy math route and use, by way of example, somebody making 100k/year.  That fortunate somebody must tithe 10 grand.  Heliskiing at Powder Mountain is $795 for a three-run package, add two hundo on that for a five run package.  Our 100k somebody must only tithe less than 1% for the best skiing experience of their life.  Not good enough for the gatekeepers above, but more than good enough for the gatekeepers of the best B.C. pow you'll ever encounter. 

You've seen Benny Hinn on TBN, but Powder Mountain Catskiing & Heliskiing has been on Fuel TV's "First Hand."  "Jesus Christ is our Savior" has 382,490 fans on Facebook.  Powder Mountain has 902.  A sizable gap, no doubt, but one that is sure to close significantly, as Powder Mountain is giving away catskiing for two to one lucky somebody who fans up Powder Mountain between now and December 31.

The Vatican has deep pockets and is a powerful sponsor, but Powder Mountain has a trinity of sponsors, plus two!  DaKine, Oakley, Burton, GoPro, and Whistler Beer.  Jesus turned water into wine, but I choose a cold Whistler Premium Export Lager.   Seriously good stuff.

John 9:22 says that anyone professing Jesus as the messiah was to be "put out of the synagogue."  Tough break there, but anyone professing Powder Mountain as the greatest powder skiing on the planet gets 20% off lodging at the Pan Pacific.  The suite style hotel located in the pedestrian-only Whistler village is the new morning meeting and pickup spot for Powder Mountain.  Pan Pacific has an outdoor heated salt water swimming pool.  The synagogue has challah and manischewitz.

Perhaps my comparison of the two, one a celestial heaven, the other a powder heaven, is shortsighted.  Eternity is a long time.  I just know that when I'm dead, I can no longer ski.  So while I'm still of this earth, I'll bow facing north towards the magnificent mountains of British Columbia and Ski Heaven, aka Powder Mountain Catskiing & Heliskiing.

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